Kochen-Cucinar-Cook-Laga

I cook, Ich koche, Yo Cucino, Jag Laga Mat.

These days what I do most is cook. I learnt how to make a good Carbonara-Sauce from bellpeppers, tomatoes, zucchini, aubergine etc...I learnt how to make Pesto, how to bake Polenta...many many things. I cook for 100 people in the Cantina of the unternehmen mitte in Basel. I have been "promoted" from Service to cooking because the cook is ill, and because I think it was time for me to try it out how it is to cook professionally. I am OK, not very good, everything always just works out, its a surprise every time. I wonder and ask myself, is that what I want? Do I always have to be at the edge of "I am nto sure if I can do this, I might collapse as the tension gets too high"in order to create a good meal? Can I one day get the routine and rhythm to know what I am doing? Or might my food not taste good anymore once I am actually professional?
I dont know. I will try to keep my bloodpressure down and my heart in its place and learn about what I am doing while I am doing it...and see what comes out. I hope I can be good enough for the people who come there hungry, I hope I can be good enough for my co-workers, to not be a burden on them with my moods, I hope I can be good enough and always remember what I am learning in this special and somehow extreme time in the Cantina. May more opportunities like this come my way! I am grateful to have the place I have and be given the chances I am being given. Thank you!